free hugs.

In 2006, Emily and I flew from New York to Seattle for me to take a class in Portland, and for Emily to get a taste of the Pacific Northwest. One gloriously sunny afternoon, much like the one we are enjoying as I re-write this old post, we were wandering around the only 10 block radius in Seattle I actually knew my way around. As we walked past the Westlake Center on the corner of Pine & 4th, we came across some people in the middle of the busiest portion of the sidewalk with big signs that said 'Free Hugs.'

Now, this was before the free hug craze had caught on, before Oprah gave it her considerable clout, so I had no idea what these people were up to. Since I’d seen various street preachers on this portion of sidewalk before I simply assumed it was a church group of some sort, attempting to take a stab at some sort of unconventional evangelism.

As we passed, my first instinct was to avoid eye contact, it really just brought back old memories from Creation Festivals when girls would wear shirts with similar sayings. It was really just a ploy to make contact with cute boys in the name of Jesus... while those of us who watched longingly from a distance had the suspicion that we weren't what these attractive young ladies had in mind when they began decorating their t-shirts with permanent markers. In addition to these memories, I was also wandering the streets of Seattle wearing my Manhattan bred 'city bubble,' (being that bubble of unspoken agreement that I won't pay attention to you if you won't pay attention to me, we will avoid contact at all costs and if by chance incidental contact occurs both of us will politely pretend it never happened). The situation was exacerbated even more due to the fact that earlier that day while Emily and I were passing thru the same section of city we were handed a flyer by a young man in a suit. The flyer told me their church was what I'd been looking for. It then included 5 principles, the first of which was that I should acknowledge I am a sinner, in response to which I made some joke to Emily about that being a great way to start a conversation and kept on walking. The teenage memory/city bubble/crazy Christians combination resulted in me sneaking my way around the first three people with 'Free Hugs' signs.

I thought I'd made it through safely when I noticed one more sign holder. The guy looked to be about 25 or 26, he was dressed normally, he was decent looking; aside from the sign he appeared completely normal. This moment of being taken aback by his normalcy resulted in a break in my stride and accidental eye contact. This was all the prompting he needed. He casually, yet genuinely asked, 'Want a hug?' Again, I wondered why he seemed so normal. Curiosity overcame me and I said 'Sure' in one of those 'why not' tones of voice. This tone of voice was due in part to my attempt to seem as socially casual as he was, and in part to the reality that I couldn't think of a valid reason why I didn't want a hug. Then, sure enough, he hugged me.

It was nothing like I expected. Granted, I had no idea what to expect, but if I had expected something this surely would not have been it. Remarkably, it was a real hug, it was a good hug too. Not an awkward ‘we don't want to look gay’ hug, not a safe 'who the hell is this person' hug, it was the kind of hug you give a close friend when you're glad to see them. It was close and tender and filled with the warmth of home.

After disengaging from his hug with me he then looked at Emily, 'You want one?' Emily responded similarly to me, I think this had a lot to do with the fact that by me hugging the guy she was kind of stuck. He hugged her just like he did me, to be honest we both thought he was better at it than most of our closest friends.

After he hugged Emily I waited for the inevitable ulterior motive to present itself. He was going to tell us the reason he did it was because of Jesus, or Buddha, or Oprah (which was ironic, because it wasn’t long before many were doing this because they saw it on Oprah). I was sure that after sharing his reasoning he would then invite us to church or something similar. Yet, even though we stood there and offered him the necessary pause to launch into a well-rehearsed monologue, nothing came. He just stood there. Finally, curiosity got the best of me and I had to ask, maybe it was one of those post-modern evangelism things where you say nothing so they ask you what you’re all about... then you work in the typical evangelism spiel, but without feeling like you invaded someone’s personal space uninvited.

'Why are you guys doing this?' I asked.
'Because hugs feel good.' Was his only response.

He stated it like it was common sense. Hugs feel good, why wouldn't we give them away for free? Giving hugs to strangers was as obvious to him as avoiding contact with strangers was to me. I felt more undeservedly validated by another human being through that hug than I have ever felt in most church sanctuaries. All I did to receive this grace was walk down the street. Those guys and girls were hugging people because it feels good to embrace, to have contact, to forget pretense and pride and to love people just for being people, for being in the same big mess that we're in. They didn't ask if we believed what they believed, it didn't matter if we were fat or skinny, young or old, republican or democrat, rich or poor. Life sucks, it's hard, it hurts... hugs feel good, so why on earth wouldn’t we hug? For these people, on that busy sidewalk in Seattle, it just added up. A world with free hugs makes more sense than a world with no hugs. Somehow for me the math breaks down in my head and I end up with timidity and fear and pride. This doesn't feel right though, I think the Kingdom has a lot more to do with 'free hugs' than it does with 'city-bubbles.'

I suppose I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality to say that when that guy hugged me, and told me he did it because hugs feel good, I experienced the sacred. The hug was authentic, it was real, it wasn't contrived or dripping with false sentimentality. These people were giving away hugs because they knew that they needed a hug as much as the people walking through the streets of Seattle did.

I tend to talk a lot about finding Jesus in places we wouldn't expect, but in reality it's often just talk. I walk by Him all the time unnoticing. We all walk by Him all the time without so much as a second glance. Maybe He is in more places than we'd notice at first glance. Maybe He still walks among us from time to time. Maybe He is here in America. Maybe He is walking the streets of our cities every day. Maybe He is standing on a street corner in Seattle with a sign that says 'Free Hugs.'