free hugs.

In 2006, Emily and I flew from New York to Seattle for me to take a class in Portland, and for Emily to get a taste of the Pacific Northwest. One gloriously sunny afternoon, much like the one we are enjoying as I re-write this old post, we were wandering around the only 10 block radius in Seattle I actually knew my way around. As we walked past the Westlake Center on the corner of Pine & 4th, we came across some people in the middle of the busiest portion of the sidewalk with big signs that said 'Free Hugs.'

Now, this was before the free hug craze had caught on, before Oprah gave it her considerable clout, so I had no idea what these people were up to. Since I’d seen various street preachers on this portion of sidewalk before I simply assumed it was a church group of some sort, attempting to take a stab at some sort of unconventional evangelism.

As we passed, my first instinct was to avoid eye contact, it really just brought back old memories from Creation Festivals when girls would wear shirts with similar sayings. It was really just a ploy to make contact with cute boys in the name of Jesus... while those of us who watched longingly from a distance had the suspicion that we weren't what these attractive young ladies had in mind when they began decorating their t-shirts with permanent markers. In addition to these memories, I was also wandering the streets of Seattle wearing my Manhattan bred 'city bubble,' (being that bubble of unspoken agreement that I won't pay attention to you if you won't pay attention to me, we will avoid contact at all costs and if by chance incidental contact occurs both of us will politely pretend it never happened). The situation was exacerbated even more due to the fact that earlier that day while Emily and I were passing thru the same section of city we were handed a flyer by a young man in a suit. The flyer told me their church was what I'd been looking for. It then included 5 principles, the first of which was that I should acknowledge I am a sinner, in response to which I made some joke to Emily about that being a great way to start a conversation and kept on walking. The teenage memory/city bubble/crazy Christians combination resulted in me sneaking my way around the first three people with 'Free Hugs' signs.

I thought I'd made it through safely when I noticed one more sign holder. The guy looked to be about 25 or 26, he was dressed normally, he was decent looking; aside from the sign he appeared completely normal. This moment of being taken aback by his normalcy resulted in a break in my stride and accidental eye contact. This was all the prompting he needed. He casually, yet genuinely asked, 'Want a hug?' Again, I wondered why he seemed so normal. Curiosity overcame me and I said 'Sure' in one of those 'why not' tones of voice. This tone of voice was due in part to my attempt to seem as socially casual as he was, and in part to the reality that I couldn't think of a valid reason why I didn't want a hug. Then, sure enough, he hugged me.

It was nothing like I expected. Granted, I had no idea what to expect, but if I had expected something this surely would not have been it. Remarkably, it was a real hug, it was a good hug too. Not an awkward ‘we don't want to look gay’ hug, not a safe 'who the hell is this person' hug, it was the kind of hug you give a close friend when you're glad to see them. It was close and tender and filled with the warmth of home.

After disengaging from his hug with me he then looked at Emily, 'You want one?' Emily responded similarly to me, I think this had a lot to do with the fact that by me hugging the guy she was kind of stuck. He hugged her just like he did me, to be honest we both thought he was better at it than most of our closest friends.

After he hugged Emily I waited for the inevitable ulterior motive to present itself. He was going to tell us the reason he did it was because of Jesus, or Buddha, or Oprah (which was ironic, because it wasn’t long before many were doing this because they saw it on Oprah). I was sure that after sharing his reasoning he would then invite us to church or something similar. Yet, even though we stood there and offered him the necessary pause to launch into a well-rehearsed monologue, nothing came. He just stood there. Finally, curiosity got the best of me and I had to ask, maybe it was one of those post-modern evangelism things where you say nothing so they ask you what you’re all about... then you work in the typical evangelism spiel, but without feeling like you invaded someone’s personal space uninvited.

'Why are you guys doing this?' I asked.
'Because hugs feel good.' Was his only response.

He stated it like it was common sense. Hugs feel good, why wouldn't we give them away for free? Giving hugs to strangers was as obvious to him as avoiding contact with strangers was to me. I felt more undeservedly validated by another human being through that hug than I have ever felt in most church sanctuaries. All I did to receive this grace was walk down the street. Those guys and girls were hugging people because it feels good to embrace, to have contact, to forget pretense and pride and to love people just for being people, for being in the same big mess that we're in. They didn't ask if we believed what they believed, it didn't matter if we were fat or skinny, young or old, republican or democrat, rich or poor. Life sucks, it's hard, it hurts... hugs feel good, so why on earth wouldn’t we hug? For these people, on that busy sidewalk in Seattle, it just added up. A world with free hugs makes more sense than a world with no hugs. Somehow for me the math breaks down in my head and I end up with timidity and fear and pride. This doesn't feel right though, I think the Kingdom has a lot more to do with 'free hugs' than it does with 'city-bubbles.'

I suppose I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality to say that when that guy hugged me, and told me he did it because hugs feel good, I experienced the sacred. The hug was authentic, it was real, it wasn't contrived or dripping with false sentimentality. These people were giving away hugs because they knew that they needed a hug as much as the people walking through the streets of Seattle did.

I tend to talk a lot about finding Jesus in places we wouldn't expect, but in reality it's often just talk. I walk by Him all the time unnoticing. We all walk by Him all the time without so much as a second glance. Maybe He is in more places than we'd notice at first glance. Maybe He still walks among us from time to time. Maybe He is here in America. Maybe He is walking the streets of our cities every day. Maybe He is standing on a street corner in Seattle with a sign that says 'Free Hugs.'

Free To Be

The other day I randomly came across a video from Free To Be You and Me, a children's record that I used to listen to on tape when I was little. So I started looking up other videos from that record on youtube and I came across this one. I remember it very well, but now watching it as an adult and with all my current religious and philosophical background...it definitely takes on new meaning, and I can see how even that shaped me to become who I am today.

So anyway, here's the story of Dudley Pippin:



The point of view the principal puts forth is something that I think really gets at the heart of reality. Living in genuine truth is so...counter intuitive. It mixes us all up. By being afraid to be a sissy, we become sissies. The very things we do to protect ourselves from being bad or being seen as weak are actually what *make* us weak in the end!

And so when Dudley apologizes for being weak, the principal says that he has nothing to apologize for and that he did that very well! How many times do I in my own life apologize for being weak? All the time. But what makes me weak is my fear of being weak, not being weak itself. And I've hid from others, tried not to show my weaknesses. And now that I'm trying to be more open and vulnerable, I get all mixed up, just like Dudley.

But that's okay. I shouldn't go back around and put myself down for being all mixed up. Why should I be any different from anybody else? We're all all-mixed-up. And that too is a weakness I should admit to having.

And then, the music. The music says something that the principal can't say in words. It's sad *and* joyous. It's...all mixed up, just like life, just like us. But when it's presented through music, it just...makes sense. We grasp it easily, how life can be both at once, and that everything is really okay no matter what.

On a very deep and profound level, everything is alright. We all all connected to life, to truth, to each other, to God. Regardless of what we think we have to struggle with, we're okay. The struggles come because of our fears. It's the fear itself that causes the struggle. And really, all we have to do is let go, and let ourselves be mixed up for a bit. Relax and enjoy the music in all of its brilliant joys and discouraging lows. It's all part of the piece, it's all part of the symphony. That the symphony exists at all is a huge blessing, and at every point, regardless of whether its a happy point or a sad point, the symphony of life is breathtakingly beautiful.


I can't believe I was exposed to this at such a young age. No wonder I am how I am today! I should remember to thank my parents for this. :)

there's treasure everywhere.

At long last, I am sitting down to write the very first "There's Treasure Everywhere" post. The idea and desire for this blog has been percolating in my brain for some time now. First, it was during a time where the idea was vague and mysterious, where I knew I wanted to do something but had no idea what. This initial period was actually quite long, but it finally started to take on a more concrete shape very recently when I began making a series of music posts in which I shared some of the beauty and redemption I noticed in various songs which are close to my heart. As, during the short history of these music posts, I began to see what they meant, both to myself and to others who shared their thoughts with me, the idea for a collaborative blog dedicated entirely to posts of a similar nature crystallized into something that excited me a great deal. As timing goes, this new idea happened to coincide with a crazy, crazy time of paper writing in grad school, so while lacking the time to even make the aforementioned music posts, the idea was temporarily shelved until the end of the term. Finally, the end of the term has come.

And so, it begins.

It seems to me that the best way to get the proverbial ball rolling and describe what this blog is all about is to simply share the meaning of the blog's name. A very long time ago, I remember being struck by the cover of one of the many lovely compilations of Calvin and Hobbes strips which graced my bookshelf. I remember looking at Calvin and Hobbes as they marveled over worms and rocks, and realizing that there was indeed treasure everywhere, if we only knew how to see.

For Calvin, as for children the world over, the oddest things discovered in the backyard become priceless discoveries. The beautifully imaginative eyes of the young can see value and significance in rocks and worms, in cardboard boxes and sticks, in the discarded and the unnoticed. Our cynicism can tempt us to laugh at their naive way of seeing the world, thinking about the inevitable day when they will grow up and learn that a rock is in fact just a rock, as they move on to more important things like sex, power, and financial security. As with most self-fulfilling prophecies, children often do grow to lose the ability to wonder at the magic they once saw in everything. Wouldn't it be lovely if children stopped learning cynicism and monotony from those further along in years, and instead we adults began to learn to see the world with the wonder and awe of the young?

It is the humble opinion of this writer (if I can in fact be called such) that, as the title of the Calvin and Hobbes collection professes, there is in fact treasure everywhere. The question is, do we have the eyes and hearts to see it? Can we see the redemption hidden in every nook and cranny of creation? Can we learn to embrace the ability to wonder and be amazed as a virtue to be praised and sought after?

So often, I am watching a movie, listening to a song, reading a book, having a conversation, or simply walking down the street, when I am struck by beauty or hope or life which is so evident it is practically tangible. There is a quickening of my pulse, at times my eyes well up, and I often find myself brushing against something too big and wonderful for words to do justice were I to try and explain the internal response to what I've witnessed or experienced. While the mystics have taught us that the instant you use words to describe these experiences you cheapen what really happened a bit, words are all we have and for too long these experiences have felt like the 'fire in my bones' just longing to be set free. I just have to share them with others, and that's what this blog is all about. It will be a place for me and my friends to look for beauty everywhere, and to share our discoveries with anyone who cares. The hope is that we might be able to shine a light in this world which so often feels stiflingly dark, and also that we might sharpen our skills in 'treasure hunting' as it were. Perhaps by continually drawing attention to the life hidden all around us, we will grow in our ability to see that life.

My hope, in part, is that this blog will help me to continually learn to approach the world with Calvin's imaginative way of seeing. I believe that Calvin's imagination isn't an obstacle which keeps him from seeing the world as it, but instead is the gift which enables him to be the only one who truly sees. It isn't that the rest of the world sees Hobbes for the inanimate stuffed animal that he is, it is that Calvin is the only one who looks close enough to truly see Hobbes for the faithful, loyal, wonderful best friend he really is. How much fuller, how much more beautiful is Calvin's life because of his ability to see the world around him as a place of constant adventure, danger, beauty and wonder?

I hope all of us who contribute to this blog can look closely at life, at everything around us, so that we might find the treasure all around us waiting to be discovered.